Why, hello again. Crap happens.

Here is a fun fact. Did you know that only one Gooey Caramel Memphis Meltdown has a zillion percent of your recommend daily intake of energy? In other words, way over the limit.

Now, that may well be exaggeration, but when I ate one, it was as if magic had exploded, and I felt incredible. And then I said to myself, why the hell did I just eat that?

Now. I haven't written in a while, and truth be told, I am dreading saying that I have failed. This is what was meant to be the change in my life, and it lasted for two weeks.

Right. So, heres the information, and then I am going to tell you what happens next.

First of all, I had an amazing first two weeks. I found out my weight, and I worked damn hard to change it. I went for runs in the morning, I drank the pacific ocean's equivalent of water, and ate exactly the right food, exactly  when I should have. It was strict, manageable, and I felt good.

Then, Monday morning, I hopped on the scales again, and got incredibly angry.

Nothing had changed! I was still a disgusting 77, and I had worked so damn hard! granted, it was only two weeks, but still. This Body Trim thing, the evil that it is, was meant to make me lose at least one kilo a week, safely. After two weeks and no change, my hope fell and so did my dignity for myself.

Ergo, a week or ups and downs.

First three days, I was the human version of the Cookie Monster, but with a variety of foods, and not just the biscuits that Elmo pronounces as a "Sometimes" food. Yeah. That was great on the self-esteem.

Then happened two days of starving myself because I realized that I was close enough to eighty kilos, that I could easily reach that again with all my eating. Weird fact, however, that eating nothing was much, much easier that eating what was on the body trim plan.

But I got hungry, and blew it this morning. The Morning! Now I have ruined the rest of my day. Good one, idiot.

But, after all of that sob story, I need to reevaluate. And heres what I am proposing. It comes in three points.

One: This blog site may well be called Bikini By Christmas, but in hopes that I am not doing this for vanity's sake, but rather my own well-being, I am going to be HAPPY BY CHRISTMAS. Happy includes being fit and healthy. Happy includes getting along with my family. Happy means enrolling for university. Happy means managing my money well. Happy means moving upward in my faith., Happy means being content and not needing anything to change.

Two: I have come to the conclusion that I am both lacking in money and also unable to follow any particular rulebook when it comes to dieting. I don't like it. I want to do this myself. So, starting tomorrow, I will be a vegetarian. It sounds extreme, but I believe that having to decide what I want to eat around the inability to eat meat will also encourage me to stay on track. I know I haven't worded that correctly, but i know what I mean and I guess it's up to you guys to make sense of that. It also means cutting out fast food, something I rarely have anyway, and including better things in my diet. This is not a diet. It is a change. Also, vegetables are cheaper than meat, and since I am paying for my food now, it will help greatly with 'Happy is managing my money well."

Three: I hate the scales. Loathe them. They tell you mean stuff. So, as is earlier in the year when I didn't get on the scales to see my progress, I wont be doing that anymore. I know that means now that there wont be any hard facts on this blog to go by my progress, unless you count clothing size, but this is primarily for me, just with a bit of an audience. So, if you still want to read all these words, I invite you to keep following my journey. But if you don't, thats cool too.

So, there you have it.

I may have slipped, but since I am still writing, I still haven't given up hope.

After writing that last line, I never realized how cheesy some of these sentences sound.

Ha.